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The Destruction of a Girl
Mullet Awards

And the winner is...? Bradlee and I are compiling an ever-growing list of awards for the First-Ever Mullet Awards. These awards were devised by my comrade and me to honor outstanding mullets and the people with the courage to wear their mullets with pride. We salute you! This is a very prestigious award, and I'd like to congratulate all of the winners.

Outstanding Lifetime Achievement: Billy Ray Cyrus (esp. early 90's)
Best TV mullet: John Stamos as "Uncle Jesse" on Full House (early episodes)
Best appearance in a motion picture: Joe Dirt
Best Femullet (Female): Tina Turner (in the 80's)
Best Mullet of the Music Industry (Besides Billy Ray Cyrus): Micheal Bolton
Best Frullet (Afro-Mullet):
Mario Lopez as "AC Slater" on Saved by the Bell
Most Educational Mullet: Mr. Geisen (substitute from last year) <Also winning "Best Multi-Colored Mullet">
Most "80's Awesome" Mullet:
Most Outrageous Mullet:
Top Athletic Mullet: Roberto Baggio
i like raul, but i don't quite understand him
Most Likely to Keep Their Mullet 'till the Day They Die: Bobby Wilson (NEHS)
Best Lesbo-Mullet: Club-Drugs presenter lady from "Choices" Day
Other Mentionable Mullets: Mel Gibson, Little Richard, that guy from "Married with Children" that was Darcy's 2nd husband, Mr. Turner from "Saved by the Bell," Bud Bundy,